It’s not that I’m jealous of skillful people. It’s just intimidating to find someone else so much better than me. Especially when I thought I was pretty good to begin with. Okay, maybe I’m jealous.
But it’s not like I wish they were bad. Just… maybe I wish they were bad by comparison to me. But if our places were reversed, would I want other people envying and resenting me for doing well? I’d probably expect honest admiration and appreciation. It looks like the Bible was right after all. I don’t really want to be great, I just want to be greater than all of you.
I can’t really distinguish between this and Satan’s fatal error. Both of us seek a higher place than is granted; higher than is due. Both of us fail to achieve, but keep on striving. The only difference between us is that Jesus Christ died for men. Through him, I will not only be raised above angels, but will judge them.
Blessed be He.